Archive for the ‘Blog’ Category

2019 is My Year to be….

It is New Year’s Eve day and with the anticipation of a new year, people often think of New Year’s resolutions. Resolutions are often personal promises to our self. Twitter compiles a list each year of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions: They include:

5. Be a better person/self-improvement

4. Be happier

3. Lose weight #fittertwitter

2. Eat healthy #meatlessmondays

1. Visit the gym

My friend Janet Frood, of Horizon Leadership started me on the quest to pick a word and find ways to practice living into that word. In 2017 Janet chose the words “BRAVE BEING”. BRAVE because she was “choosing intentional disruption for the sake of growth and change in her life and business” and BEING was her “intention to cultivate energy to be present, grounded and connected”.   I appreciate the way Janet picks a word and then articulates the how and the why of her word.  Thank you, Janet!!

In 2018 I chose the word COURAGEOUS. I lived into that word in a significant way by coming forward and sharing publicly, for the first time, about the sexual abuse I experienced as a teenager by the Director of the summer camp I attended since I was a young child.  In 2018 I reconciled the path I’ve walked with the existence of those paths that forked off behind me.  I think the word courage chose me for 2018!

Joshua Becker who writes for the website “becoming minimalist” suggests, “Rarely do people look back on their lives and savor their professional achievements. Instead, they celebrate the impact they have had in the lives of others”.

Maybe in 2019 you can find ways to seek significance and anchor it with a word.

At the Canadian Museum for Human Rights in Winnipeg there is an exhibit to Honor Canadian Citizens. The Government of Canada bestows this symbolic honor on people who have made extraordinary contributions to the promotion and protection of human rights and dignity.  Included in this exhibit are pictures of Nelson Mandela who led the struggle to end racism and apartheid in South Africa. Tenzin Gyatso who you may recognize as the 14^th Dalai Lama and spiritual leader of Tibet who has worked tirelessly at fostering peace and non-violence; and Malala Yousafzai who set a courageous example as a teenager by risking her life to promote education for young women.  Each of these individuals chose significance rather than success.  Maybe your word for 2019 could be SIGNIFICANCE, EXTRORDINARY or KINDNESS.

The “The Book of Joy” recently popped up into my Lending Library outside. I loved the book when I originally read it and its words are profound!  In 2015, Archbishop Desmond Tutu travelled to the Dalai Lama’s home in India to celebrate His Holiness’s 80^th birthday.  When they were together, they wanted to answer the question – “How do we find joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering? The book was written about their one-week experience.   One of the eight pillars of Joy in their book is Generosity.  In the book the author talks about the two of them – “They are big hearted, magnanimous, tolerant, broad-minded, patient, forgiving and kind”.  This they say is about “being less self-centered, less self-regarding and more self-forgetful”.  Maybe your word for 2019 could be ACCEPTANCE, TOLERANCE, JOY or GRATITUDE and you could find ways to find it, understand it or make it a part of your daily life.

So why not try it! Pick a word or a phrase – something that provokes inspiration – that stretches you. Pick a word that speaks to you, resonates with you and calls you to action.  I like writing the word on a tag, use it as a bookmark, hang it on a bulletin board or a door handle.  Claim the word as your own!

For 2019, I’ve chosen the word – DISCOVERY. As an adult, I completed my undergrad and my MBA at Bluffton University.  Bluffton has shaped me and choosing one of their four values is a significant way for me to remind myself of where I have come from and more importantly where I want to continue to go.

Happy New Year!

The Pure Magic of March Madness

It’s called “The Big Dance” and for 2018 it ended last evening. It’s the NCAA Division 1 Men’s Basketball tournament which is a 68-team single elimination tournament to determine the National Collegiate Athletic Association Division 1 college basketball national championship.  For a couple of weeks in March and early April, it seems like non-stop basketball is on television, people become invested in teams they haven’t seen play before and a few players begin to capture both our attention and our hearts.

I’m kind of preoccupied with Men’s College Basketball (known as the festival of obsession with the round ball).   I’m interested to see how the teams get seeded – who is in and who’s out.  I like to be part of our family pool and this year, I am happy to say that I won! I typically pick the top seeds to win but always cheer for the underdog.  I enjoy the stories about “Cinderella” teams who seemingly come out of nowhere with grit and determination to advance in their bracket.

So, what is it that makes March Madness magic?

A Belief That It’s Not Over Until It’s Over

University of Maryland-Baltimore County knows all too well that it’s not over until it’s over. Before this year’s tournament most people would have had to look up the UMBC acronym to see what the name stood for. They were seeded 16^th (that means last place) and made history by beating Virginia who was one of the top ranked teams.   College basketball has never seen a bigger upset and the basketball world went crazy – hence the term madness!

A Reminder that It’s All About Practice, Practice, Practice

All the student athletes playing in the tournament have shot thousands of free throws, spent countless hours in the gymnasium perfecting their shot and conditioning themselves to be able to play 40 minutes of straight up basketball. They have practiced enough that they make it look easy.

Confirmation That You Can’t Do It Alone

There is always the player who is exceptional – the point guard who quarterbacks his team, makes great passes and shoots 3’s effortlessly or the skilled big man who can protect the rim, grab rebounds and shoot but in basketball there still has to be five players on the floor. Even with a couple exceptional players, studies show that playing a deeper bench where you can utilize fresh legs and sustained energy results in more opportunities to win games.  More wins = more championships.

It’s Passion When You Are Doing Something You Love

It’s amazing to watch a player dive after the ball, block a shot in mid air or make a last second 3 to win the game. The passion that is demonstrated by the players on the floor who are dripping with sweat while their teammates are locked arm in arm almost sliding off their chairs is a beautiful thing.  Last night when I watched the final dance I was reminded, when you love what you do you don’t see it as work –  Whether it is spending a few extra hours in the gym to perfect your free throw or staying up late to finish a project. When you are passionate about the choices you make you don’t necessarily equate the hours with working because you love it.

What is it that inspires and motivates you to get up in the morning? I hope it is something you are passionate about because watching someone spend hours doing something that they love is pure magic.

Me too

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. 

The price is high.  The reward is great.”         Maya Angelou

Have you seen the posts on Facebook?  I’m referring to the “Me too” campaign.  Have you written “Me too” on your wall or do you know of someone who has publicly come forward?

I have read the comments and watched the posts about “Me too” and the suggestion that, “if all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote, “Me too” as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”   At various times over the last number of years when the issue of sexual harassment or assault makes the headlines I have taken notice.   I take notice because I was sexually abused and can also write, “Me too”.

I have always felt uncomfortable with the idea that I could group myself into the corner as a sexual abuse survivor.  I wanted to distance myself from the conversation and from owing this truth.

My abuse began in high school and lasted into my first year of university.  Classic story, he was a family friend, I respected him, and I trusted him.  I was a teenager when it began, and he had power over me.  I naively thought that if I just ignored my instincts, muffled my cries for help and told no one that I wouldn’t have to think about it – ever!  I assumed that if I tried hard to never think about it, then any feelings of sadness, loneliness, fear or anger would magically disappear.

Years later, I told my family and a few close friends.  It wasn’t until I decided to go back to university as an adult that I started to face the reality that something terrible had happened to me as a teenager.  There was a defining moment while taking a university English course when I submitted a paper about my abuse.  It was the first time I had written the words “abuse survivor” and shared those words with a stranger.  When my paper was graded, at the end my professor wrote, “You don’t have to carry this pain all alone for the rest of your life”.  In that sentence, she had given me permission to not hold it in.  I decided I didn’t want to hide from my pain and loneliness any longer.

It was the end of high school and I was ready to launch myself to university.  I had received numerous basketball scholarships from different universities, but I failed a course in my last semester of high school.  To say I was disappointed to not venture off to university with all my friends was an understatement, a feeling that still lingers today.  I had such an insatiable need to belong and fit in and I desperately wanted to get out.  As I reflect on this formative time in my life I am deeply saddened for that 18-year-old young woman who decided in those moments it was easier to tell herself that she had failed her course because she wasn’t smart.  It was easier for her to explain to everyone that she just needed to stay back to redo a failed course than to tell those around her that she was being sexually abused – even though she felt like she was drowning.  I have a tough time even writing that now because I knew the nature of my failed course had nothing to do with me not being smart!

When I decided to retrace my steps, and complete my university education I was on the Dean’s honor list each semester and I was inducted at graduation into the Phi Delta Society which honors academic excellence.  Only years later my counselor observed that maybe I failed that course because of the stress that I was under trying to keep my life together while feeling very alone and afraid.  I mention this because I don’t think I would have come to that realization on my own because my pain was buried so deep within me!

In 2014 I graduated from Bluffton University with a degree in Organizational Management and in 2016 I graduated with my MBA with a concentration in leadership.  I am living proof of what courage looks like and what resilience can restore!

In February I spoke publicly for the first time about being sexually abused.  I stood in front of an audience which included my friends and family.  My friends and family showed up in the empathy seats and cheered me on as I spoke the words of truth that I wish I had felt comfortable talking about long before.  I cried afterward – I think it was tears of joy and relief.

I’m not sure if I will ever be interested in being a spokesperson for sexual abuse but having said that, I do continue to wonder if there are other young people, who like me are drowning in sadness as they struggle with any number of issues; sexual abuse, harassment, mental health challenges, drugs or alcohol abuse?  No one should live in secrecy and silence.  No one should have to carry a burden alone!

After a long journey, here is what I know now and what I was not capable of knowing at the time:

Find a Mentor or a Trusted Older Person to Talk to – When I was a teenager, I confided in a couple of people, but they were as young as I was and totally unprepared and incapable of doing anything to help me because they didn’t have enough life experience.  They listened but they didn’t have enough understanding to know that I really needed help.  I think I could have spared myself some pain if I had talked with someone who could have given me guidance.

Seek Professional Help – With the help of a mentor, parent or trusted older person get professional help.  If the first person you go to isn’t a good fit, try another person.  Eventually I sought professional help.  Over time, my counselor helped to unstick me.  I use the metaphor of a puzzle – she helped me open the puzzle box, dump the pieces out on the table and help me slowly put the puzzle back together.  It was tough work!  Every now and then I still bump up against something which is a reminder that one of the many puzzle pieces has fallen out and needs to be found and put back into the puzzle.  She was instrumental in making me whole.

Become Compassionate Towards Yourself – Imagine for just a moment someone who is kind, caring and supportive of you.  Do you have it in you to show yourself the same compassion that this person shows to you?  This is called self-compassion – our ability to show ourself the same care and support that the most compassionate person shares with us.  Self-compassion is a powerful healer.

Know that Secrecy and Silence Will Never Make the Pain Go Away – I honestly thought that if I could just become better – a better mom, a better friend, a better daughter I could prove to myself that I could handle anything, and I wouldn’t have to feel the deeper pain.

What I know for sure….my inability to not ask for help in high school was deeply rooted in me wanting to spare both the people and institutions I loved from their own anger, sadness and even shame over me being sexually abused.  This decision has defined my life and shaped its path.  I also believe that is why my company is called Pathway Leadership Group.  I wanted to create something that wasn’t available to me when I needed it.  It is only as an adult that I have truly learned what it means to be vulnerable, brave and courageous which has helped me live my life from a place of gratitude.

I hope that sharing my story provides hope for anyone needing help.  Please Choose You

What You Do Matters

Can you name a few people whose leadership inspires and empowers you? Would your list of people include world leaders, activists, family members or friends? What words might you use to describe those role models?

This spring I had the opportunity to be a preliminary round judge at the Take the Lead public speaking contest at Brescia University. High school women from across Ontario gathered at the university to compete for a one-year full academic scholarship. They were asked to speak about someone whose leadership inspires and empowers them.

There was acknowledgement from all the speakers that people who inspire and empower come in all forms. They can risk their life because of what they believe in, they are advocates for others, they have influence, strength and determination. They have an “I can do anything” kind of attitude, they are change makers and a source of inspiration with a commitment to their community.

Prior to judging I reflected on a few of the people who continue to inspire and empower me. I first met Dr. Susan Schultz Huxman when she became President at Conrad Grebel University College in Waterloo and she quickly became one of the people who inspired me with her educational leadership. As a communications specialist, she is authentic and well-spoken and I have enjoyed every opportunity I have had to hear her speak. When I heard that she would be the 2017 commencement speaker at my alma mater I made a point of listening to her address. In her speech, she highlighted Dov Seidman’s new book, Why How We do Anything means Everything”.   In the book, Seidman asks the significant question, “What does it mean to be human in the age of intelligent machines?” or more simply put – what makes us humans unique if machines can compete with people? His straight forward answer – “humans have heart”.  Seidman further suggested, “…that heart includes the traits that can’t be programmed into software such as passion, character and collaborative spirit”. It seems to me that these might just be the traits that would continue to differentiate these graduates.

The young women who advanced to the final round in the Take the Lead contest talked about a variety of people; a political leader, a mother, a friend and an honorary Canadian citizen. The winner…was the young woman who delivered a speech about her best friend.  I believe  her success stemmed from her heart felt delivery and absolute respect for her best friend.  In her allotted 5 minutes, she told stories of the numerous ways her friend inspired her, how she created change on the school yard when she was very young and her significant qualities of leadership. In the end, she acknowledged that “the future of humanity is filled with hope” because she sees it in her friend every day.

Here is the question that I keep asking myself…Did the best friend ever know how much she was inspiring her friend? Enough to know that she would go on to write a speech about her? In the same way, I wonder if Susan would be surprised to know the profound effect she has had on me? The point being, inspiration can come from anyone, at any time and in various forms but the common thread with this kind of impact is always heart because there is no way anyone who has been inspired by anybody hasn’t felt it in their heart!

Courageous Leadership

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be excluded from society?  Why do we use terms like normal or different when everyone is different?  I am honored that Leif Shantz has agreed that I can reprint a story he wrote for the Prism Project. Leif is in Grade 12 and he shares what it feels like to be excluded from society, how he thinks he is different and most importantly, how that makes him feel. Leif embodies courageous leadership because he has the courage to talk about uncomfortable things, to be brave and to show up and be seen. By using his voice, he is becoming a role model for others to follow. His story needs to be heard and shared!!

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT APPEARANCE

I would like to tell you about how I feel excluded in society. I am deaf and have mild cerebral palsy. My speech is a little bit different because of the cerebral palsy and sometimes I get nervous people won’t understand what I’m saying.

Most people look at me differently than a normal person and don’t consider looking beyond the surface. Western culture expects people to behave and look a certain way, and fit within their idea of “normal.” I put the quotations around normal because each person has a view around normality and a different idea of what perfection is. People place benchmarks for the image of a perfect person based on celebrities in media and entertainment. Young people strive to dress like them and will often idolize a certain celebrity based on the image they portray. However, this idea of their perfection is imaginary since they have no idea what their personality is like.

Personality is what’s really important when selecting a friend or partner; looks aren’t everything. Some people might look good but have bad personalities. If I could talk so some of the kids at school who I feel isolated from, I would like them to know that just like any other person, I desire to have friendships.

If people were to take the time to get to know me, they would discover a person who is open-minded, considerate, compassionate and intelligent. I enjoy politics because it’s an important aspect of understanding our society. I enjoy art and often sketch because it helps me lose track of time, acts as an escape from what I’m feeling and helps me use my imaginative skills. Just like most other kids, I like playing video games on my phone.

While I know beauty is skin deep, I’m not immune to the pressures of looking perfect. I like fashion because it gives me the ability to look nice. Because I know I look different than what is considered normal, I don’t enjoy having my picture taken. I’m still learning how to be comfortable with looking different compared to other people.

I have a work placement as an educational assistant at an elementary school. I help in the classroom by helping with assignments and encouraging positivity. In the beginning, I experienced the kids looking at me and knew they were thinking I was weird because I was different than other people they were used to seeing. As the kids got to know me they became more comfortable and eventually one even came for hugs.

If little children can see the heart in me, so can you.

There are many people out there who might look different on the surface. Knowing someone is about more than appearance, it’s about their personality and qualities. Relationships are about sharing common interests and that can never happen unless you take the time to get to know someone.
Please check out Prism Project – Stories of life with hearing loss. Promoting acceptance between different perspectives.   http://www.prismproject.ca/www.facebook.com/groups/PrismProject

We’re Glad You’re Our Neighbour

In July, 1924 my grandparents were among 875 Russian Mennonite immigrants of German descent who arrived in Waterloo, Ontario with their worldly possessions to the land of hope, freedom and opportunity. It was a 13,000-km journey from Russia to Canada which took four weeks.   The kindness that was shown to them by the people of Waterloo County was a testament to the generosity and goodwill of their host community.

My story is not unique as many families have stories of their loved ones fleeing their homeland and eventually settling in Canada.

In September 2015, the following sign was created for the lawn at Immanuel Mennonite Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia. The sign was created in the three most prominent languages surrounding the neighborhood of the church being – English, Spanish and Arabic. It is a message of tolerance and support.

From these small beginnings, a lawn sign was created to encourage welcome and hospitality and its message has spread across the United States and Canada. It is our desire to provide an opportunity for you to show care and concern for the neighbours in your community.

Ruth-Ann Shantz, Lead Collaborator, Pathway Leadership Group – www.pathwayleadership.ca

WELCOME SIGNS & BUMPER STICKERS

16”x24” Corrugated plastic sign with

removable wire insert

$15.00

3”x12” bumper sticker – $5.00

If you are interested in purchasing a sign or sticker, please send an email to signs@pathwayleadership.ca indicating the number of signs and/or stickers you would like. A donation will be made to Mennonite Central Committee Ontario and The Cross Cultural Learner Centre, London, Ontario on behalf of this initiative.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.  Margaret Mead

Paying Attention

Project 333 – Have you heard about it? The Project 333 website has been circulating around Facebook for the last while and at first glance I was intrigued but set it aside as “not interested”, “too hard” and just not something that I would do.

Over the holidays, I heard a family member had recently decided to take the Project 333 challenge and I listened to her enthusiasm about tackling this project. A few days ago, I decided to revisit the idea and it seemed straightforward: for three months pick only 33 items to wear which include clothes, accessories, outerwear and shoes.  Not included in your total are sentimental jewelry, underwear, home lounge wear/sleepwear and athletic workout clothes. The rest of your existing items should be boxed up and put somewhere else or given away. Seems simple, right?!

Really…how many items would I need to remove to get to this magic number of 33? I decided to tackle the project by pulling everything out of its spot and begin with piles – (1) the things I love, (2) maybe I’ll think about keeping it and; (3) lets just get rid of it. With enthusiasm, I dumped my clothes from my closet, the pine box at the end of the bed, the neatly housed sweater cupboard and four other drawers.  When the sheer magnitude of clothing piled up in front of me I instantly became embarrassed and decided not to count anything. After I had completed the task I realized I had been accumulating and holding onto way too many things.

Project 333 promotes simplifying your life and living more with less.   I realized that for me, this project was not about trying to get to some magic number.  In fact, I could decide to do this project with 50 items – it didn’t really matter. This project was a wake-up call for me. I need to pay attention!!  We are creatures of habit.  Attention goes to sleep when it slips into a rut and our mind goes on autopilot.  It is impossible to create new pathways until you wake up your attention.

Here are a few things this project has taught me:

• In performing this exercise, I realized that being able to take cloths away is a privilege that not everyone has and I need to be more aware of living with what I need.
• Clothing in general is designed to keep us safe and protect us from the elements. Clothing also helps to form our identity. Paying attention to the true purpose of things such as clothing, can allow us to evaluate if these needs are being met. Otherwise we may simply end up accumulating with no purpose.
• It is important to be mindful, to continually reflect on our choices and patterns of behavior to keep them in line with our values.

What I know for sure…. paying attention is about noticing, being present, exploration, discovery, and making conscious choices. Paying attention is one of the greatest gifts we can give to others but to do so, we must first pay attention to ourselves!

Finding Our Way Home

Home! What does the word home mean to you?  What images and thoughts pop into your head?  Home might conjure up warm feelings of love, belonging and safety or perhaps…home brings back memories of pain, loss and the wish that it all could somehow be better or different.

December is a month filled with expectation and emotion and home often contributes to those feelings. In my leadership work with youth and twenty somethings they express a deep desire to find ways to fit in.  In fact, one of their core emotional needs is to belong.  For many, ‘home’ is about stability, refuge, belonging and security.  Social media has sensationalized “home is where the heart is” moments and as a result has created a culture of self-comparison. These images can be distorted because home can also be messy, unpredictable, lonely, stressful and often uncontrollable.

As adults we have this remarkable responsibility to create a place for our hearts, a place that we can call home. While this is true, home can be anywhere where we are understood, supported and loved unconditionally. Hence, the old adage, “I feel at home here”.

Here are a few suggestions of ways that we can continue to create home in the coming weeks:

Stop trying to be perfect – There is a tendency to want everything to be “just right” – the perfect family, the perfect photos, the perfect food, the perfect gifts and even, the perfect weather.  The build up to the holiday time creates an expectation that is rarely ever met and in fact isn’t realistic. Worry less about trying to create perfection and instead create time together.

Put Away Your Phone –Turn off your phone and live in the moment. Create memories in your home. Don’t share these moments with the intention and sole purpose of posting to the world – cherish them instead.

Pay Attention – This goes back to the point above. If you are making the effort to show up then do so with the intention of being happy to be wherever you are.  Make the people you are with feel like they matter. One of the ways you can do this is by paying attention so you don’t become distracted.  Do more listening. Engage people in conversation. Turn off the television.  Play some board games.  Go for a walk with someone you love…just because. Tell the people that you surround yourself with that they mean something to you.

What I know for sure is life has moments of highs and lows. Home can be a place of love and belonging where we can be ourselves but it can also sometimes be a place of disappointment that home is not always perfect. If we are sensitive to that fact and we focus on what matters and who we care about, we will always find our way home.

Yours to Discover!

“So this is it!” Have you said these words in the last few  weeks since you started university or college and wondered if you signed up for the right thing… Am I in the right place? the right program, the right courses, the right living place?

I waited a long time to complete my university degree. I recall sitting in my first class as an adult and thinking – so this is it!  I am not sure if I imagined that there would be more fanfare, or that I would love every minute of each class.  In fact, I really didn’t know what university was going to be like – but somehow I thought it was going to be different.

When I entered Ontario after a recent trip to Montreal I was greeted by the Ontario road sign with the logo – “Yours to Discover”.  I should have adopted this logo when I began university! As I reflect back on my experience in completing my undergrad and master’s degrees I know it was an experience in discovery.  Some of it had to do with the academic courses I was taking but much of the discovery actually had nothing to do with the classroom learning.

I recently had an opportunity to spend time with a group of university students. I asked them the question – After being in university, what have you discovered that you would tell your first year self?

Here are their discoveries?

• Your degree, all on its own, isn’t going to get you a job. Focus on the process and not on the product. Lots of people can get good grades without learning anything. Learn something!
• Don’t forget to focus on caring for yourself – mind, body and soul.
• Find the things that you are passionate about. Invest in the things that interest you and bring you joy. Maybe it is a course you are taking or maybe it is an activity you are involved with. Keep searching for your passions!
• You are going to learn lots of new skills and many of the skills will have nothing to do with academics – managing money, getting exercise, learning to cook and care for yourself. These are important and necessary skills to learn as a young adult to be successful and become a well-rounded individual.
• Find friends who share your same values and push you to be who you really ought to be.
• Find occasions for time alone. Life has many distractions so learning to be alone, with your own thoughts, is a good skill to learn.
• Never see university/college as an obligation but only an opportunity.
• Be patient! University/college isn’t a destination – you are just passing through. It won’t be perfect but it sure will be an adventure!

What I know for sure – University is an opportunity for self-discovery, learning and adventure – it really is “Yours to Discover”!!

Living from the Inside Out

What does it cost for you to live out your personal values? Is there a monetary cost, a time cost – or maybe both?

I grew up in Kitchener-Waterloo in a household of faith. When it was time for me to go to high school Rockway Mennonite Collegiate in Kitchener was the natural choice. For my parents, Rockway was a natural extension of my home life.  Both at school and at home we were encouraged to build our character and faith, embrace peacemaking and create a globally minded world view.  My parent’s acted on these personal values repeatedly over time and did so when it was easy and also when it was hard.  There were financial implications to send my siblings and me to Rockway.  My mom also worked outside of the home in an era when most moms were home full-time.  My folks probably had a mortgage on their house longer than other parents because of their decision to send us to a private church school.  They drove us to and from school, sat on committees and helped with the organization of numerous events.

Recently I was part of an alumni reunion choir to celebrate 70 years of choral excellence at Rockway. In high school, being part of the music program was cool – music was a place for the academics, the gym rats and the “real” music people. I counted myself in the category of gym rat but loved singing in the choir.  During the recent concert, where I sang with over 100 other alumni, I was struck that the choir contained spouses, siblings, cousins and two generation groupings.  The fact that lots of alumni showed up was a testament to the value that music, education and relationships played in their life.

In my first residential week of my MBA, Bill Grace, director of Common Good Works, talked about values. He suggested, “Values are not just philosophical ideals; they are tangible moral assets meant to be chosen, prized, and put into action”. When people live through their values they can provide a center which makes it easier to live with the consequences and realize the benefits of those values.

Recently I had the opportunity to spend time with a fantastic group of young adults at a children’s summer camp during their staff orientation. In the workshop I talked about core values and began to show the staff how values can become an internal compass to navigate choices.  When people cultivate a relationship with their core values they are able to live out their values even when facing challenges. Studies show when a person chooses their own values he or she is far more likely to act on these values over time.

What is it that you value –  happiness, money, family, relationships, success, faith, curiosity, kindness, love?  You may say that you value the whole list or you could brainstorm a different list.  If everything is a core value, then nothing becomes your priority.  If you choose three or four values that are essential to you, write them on a slip of paper and place them in a prominent location they will anchor you.

What I know for sure…when we align our daily choices with our values we lead from a place of greater intention and increased integrity and peace of mind.