A Wholehearted Family
This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with my extended family. We ate together, laughed together and played together. I realized in that moment that I am in a unique place right now where both my parents are still with me and therefore, I am both a parent and a child. As a parent, it occurred to me that my mom and dad still love me the way I love my own children – and that will never change.
Being able to still see both sides, I am aware that family relationships are about give and take and a mysterious mix of the silly and the profound. Making an effort is what matters. Continuing to keep the family in the room so to speak, is what allows us to make genuine connections. Feeling connected to others is what gives our lives meaning and fuels our sense of belonging. That sense of connection speaks to our desire to identify with and feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. So…at the core, family relationships are about cultivating that worthiness in order for each person to become wholehearted.
Living from a place of wholeheartedness means:
Always pay attention. Paying attention says – I am interested in what you are doing.
Having a ‘date night’ with your family and making family a priority.
Finding opportunities to celebrate and be grateful.
Going on family vacations and actually wanting to be there.
Realizing a parent will be a parent forever.
Being vulnerable and courageous in order to show up and be seen.
Giving hugs to everyone in the family on a daily basis. Hugs are a way of showing love.
Treat people in your family the way you would want to be treated.
Love is unconditional and something that can always be counted on.
What I know for sure…It seems to me that our truest core value is to actually feel valued in our relationships. Deeper than any other human need is our desire to know and believe that we matter. When we connect as both parent and child it is then where meaningful things truly happen.
Thanks, Ruth-Ann!
I am at that in-between place too, and reading your words got me thinking about how I am transferring family togetherness to the next generation. I find it challenging to navigate the maintaining of connection with my own family of origin, even as the branches of offspring continue to sub-divide. I appreciate your reflection very much, and will continue to ponder.